You say up, I say down. I want to go left, you want to go right. You get the picture. The difference between men and women is we don’t even begin to think the same way!
Take sports for instance. Do you know what OBP means in baseball terms? How about a “Pick N Roll in basketball, zone defense, or in football, OLB, MLB? Ok, I admit to knowing all of these things because I love sports, but the average female doesn’t. But this is what stumps me. The sports trivia question that the announcer throws out like:
What was Hank Aaron’s batting average in 1959 or which pitcher had an ERA of 1.12 in 1968, which football player had the most catches in 1999? Tom knows the answers to all of these questions. It’s just unbelievable. Just the other night he asked me
“Do you remember who played Point Guard for the Warriors in 2003?”
Of course I don’t. But I can tell you what I remember vividly about December 29, 1982. We were walking home from a neighborhood party and I was 9 months pregnant. Tom suggested I walk half in the street and half on the curb to see if I could induce labor so our baby, who turned out to be Max, could be born in 1982 for tax purposes. I also remember my reaction to his suggestion… then my water broke about 2 AM and we rushed to the hospital and Max was born in 1982. Even though I hadn’t done as Tom suggested he took credit because he’d “planted the seed” with that stupid suggestion.
Which brings me to the point of this entire blog. I was nursing a swollen knee from playing pickleball so I had to sleep on his side of the bed in case I had to get up in the middle of the night. His side is closer to the bathroom.
I have been complaining for two years now about the neighbor who lives across our fence. They have an incredibly bright light that they leave on all night which shines right in my eyes on my side of the bed. Not only do they leave that light on , but they leave all the lights in the house on all night. This is definitely not a grow light , trust me on this one unless they are growing something illegal or just newly legal. Has Tom paid ANY attention to me other than to grunt? No. Worse, he said it doesn’t bother him because I’m blocking the light from shining in his eyes.
We were talking to our next door neighbor one afternoon when I asked him if he had a BB gun. (Tom had refused to use his because he said he’d be the only suspect). Our neighbor is younger and a hunter so I was sure he would have one and not be afraid to use it for a good cause. I suggested he might shoot out the neighbor’s light for me which to me seemed like a perfect solution. He declined as he pointed out he’s on our HOA Board and it might not look good if he were caught. That’s when Tom said the light was inside the house not outside. And believe it or not, it is inside, this incredibly bright light. Which took the BB gun option right off the table.
Then it took one night of him sleeping on my side of the bed with the prospect of facing at least two more nights, guess what happened. In less than three minutes in the garage he came back with the piece of wood you see in the picture. Yup, problem solved. You might wonder why I hadn’t come up with a solution to my own problem.
BECAUSE THAT’S WHAT MEN ARE FOR!
And now you finally know.