It happened in the womb. An errant sports gene looking for a landing spot. It went into the part of the brain with the “girls aren’t into sports that much gene” and planted. It was much stronger than what was there already and took over. Consider the evidence:
- Late 1950’s, early 60’s. Blue Earth, MN. We lived in a tract home (aka Mid Century Modern) in a subdivision called the Trasmere Addition. My sister was fond of calling it the Trash Mere Addition. There were enough kids in the neighborhood for two softball teams and a grassy boulevard wide enough at one end perfect for the games. We played almost every day in the summer. Fall brought on our touch football games. I’ll never forget the sight of Mrs. Spencer, mother of my best friend Butchy come out of the house in her standard long skirt, white socks, sensible shoes and white short sleeved blouse with that Kleenex clutched in her hand (always the Kleenex). Her face which was always lined with worry was even more scrunched up than normal. “Eldon (that was Butchy’s real name) be careful of the girls!” She paced up and down her front yard wringing her Kleenex as Butchy sighed. Poor Butchy, he knew that was not necessary.
- 1974: What woman can say that the night she met her future husband, she was sitting on the couch in her apartment alone, waiting for him to pick her up (it was a blind date) watching the Notre Dame/USC football game. He was very impressed. It was love at first sight.
- 1980’s-2011. Marin County, CA. The glory years of football in SF. Joe Montana and Steve Young. What could have been better? It got so bad that I would spend Sunday watching the game while Tom and the kids were outside. This is how the conversation went when they lost: Tom : “Dinner is going to suck tonight, the 49ers lost.” We also had the SF Giants who have won three World Series. Oh how I love the Giants.
- 2011-2013: Napa, CA . After selling our house in Larkspur, we rented a house in Napa. It was late February. Comcast came to hook up our cable. Tom answered the door and he and the technican went outside. “You have to get this hooked up before March Madness starts or my wife will be very upset.” “Your wife? She watches March Madness, you’re kidding, right?” “Nope, she loves it.” “Wow, are you lucky. If my wife had watched March Madness, we might still be married.”
- March 2011: The TV hooked up and ready to go. My sister came from Seattle to help after I had some surgery. This was the first year there were three channels with games. You could finally watch all the games! Heaven. Settled in on the couch I proceeded to do just that. “Uh, do you have to watch every game?” “What, you’re not enjoying this?” Cue slumped shoulders and major sad face. This is not my sister, but she has the same look she did. “Do you even know the teams that are playing?” “Nope, but who cares? It’s competition at it’s best. All these teams are competing for the Final 4!” “Uh, where do you keep your wine?”
- 2014-present: I’m in Portland, OR. No sports! Now my face looks like the picture above. There is soccer (really?) and a Pro Basketball team. That’s it. All you can get here are Seattle football and baseball. UGH. I checked into getting the Giants baseball games. Too expensive.
- The Newcomer’s Club has a bocce team. Tom and I joined. It’s fun. And I turn out to be pretty good at it. But I am also very competitive and love to trash talk. Last week we were playing at the Park. Tom wasn’t there. We had two teams of three, which is not ideal. I had Bob and Sally (names changed to protect the innocent) on my team. Bob would throw the ball one way and Sally the other. We were losing! I was the only one making points for our team. All I wanted was the ball, just give me the ball and let me take on the other team by myself!
- Portland! Please get me a sports team!
Are there any other women out there like me??