Alright, I get it.  How shallow.  Confessions of a Lipstick Lover!  I should be thinking about Russia, the Ukraine, Valdimer Putin, the economy, global warming and most of all UNPACKING!  After all, we just moved from California to Oregon.  You’d think I’d have better things to do.

However, if you’re sick of all of that, not to mention sick of winter, then please enjoy “Confessions.”  I can’t take credit for it, it was written by friend and customer Kate Larson.

Confessions of a Lipstick Junkie

By Kate Larson

As with most addictions, it started innocently.  An older kid in the neighborhood persuades a younger one to “just try it.”  When I was 8, my neighbor and idol, Debbie Cline (Age 10) pulled an empty tube of lipstick out of her pocket, saying she found it in her Mom’s waste can.  Turns out it wasn’t completely empty and we were able to dig out a very red, waxy substance (probably lead-based and tested on cute little puppies) using our popsicle sticks which also served as excellent applicators.  Wow, were we beautiful.  I was hooked.  I started rifling through waste cans – my Mom’s, Grandma’s, Aunt’s, anywhere a lipstick-wearing lady might live, popsicle stick at the ready.  I acquired my first very own new lipstick at age 12 with the dollar I earned babysitting for three bratty kids for 4 hours.  It was Maybelline’s “Lilac Mint.”  A truly glorious color; imagine Pepto-Bismol Pink with just a hint of green.  I looked like Sandra Dee. (That is if she had short dark hair and was wearing a parochial school uniform instead of a bikini.)  Soon I had to take a second babysitting job on weekends to support my habit or steal change out of my Dad’s dresser drawer but it wasn’t long before Lilac Mint was joined by Strawberry Ice, Perfect Plum and Orange Sherbert…all from the local F.W. Woolworths.  Unfortunately, I wasn’t allowed to actually wear lipstick so I quickly developed behaviors typical to junkies:  Shifty eyes, lying, denying, hiding my contraband, wrapped in wads of Kleenex deep in the pocket of my uniform.  Anything to keep my lipstick from being confiscated by my Mom or worse; nosy nuns.

As I got older, the effects just weren’t lasting long enough and I found myself re-applying lip color every hour or so.  I needed something stronger and longer-lasting so I decided to try the new “all day” lipsticks.  Promises, promises.  First the drugstore varieties but then when those didn’t work I went for the hard stuff:  Macy’s, Nordstrom and finally, the last stop for people like met:  Sephora.  Big bucks.  No joy.  Oh sure, the color lasted all day as it gathered in angry streaks in the deep, dry crevices and cracks of my lips, often falling off in crusty, reddish-orange flakes.  The devil’s dandruff.  Defeated, I resigned myself to a color-less lip life.

Then one day, my friend Stevie told me she had discovered a wonderful lip color called LipSense by SeneGence that lasted all day and didn’t dry, crack and flake.  My response:  “Yeah, right.  I’ll pass.”  But like all clever dealers, Stevie was persistent and convinced me to try a free sample.  So I did.  And…two hours later it was still there; after dinner, still there; next morning, still there.  No cracks, no fissures, no devil dandruff. (Cue music here – Beethoven’s “Ode to Joy”)   An occasional swipe of Moisturizing Gloss freshened it up like new.  Eureka!  I found it!  I dumped out two vanity drawers full of expensive, worthless lipsticks and now wear only LipSense.  My everyday go-to’s are Peach and Persimmon with Gloss Sand over them, but I also like Precious Topaz and C. Coral for evenings, sometimes with Glitter Gold on top for special occasions.  And so, thanks to Stevie, I lived colorfully ever after.  The End.